A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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