Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
