Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You left your phone here
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