I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
