My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
