That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
