The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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