i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
