I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
