My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
