Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize