how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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