Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
