i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
