Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
