What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
