positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
