Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
