he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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