she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
