Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
