Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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