I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The ass gains better be worth it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
