okay pat passed out under dana's car
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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