At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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