very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
