My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
