what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
