my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
