Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
