It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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