the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
