yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
