I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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