idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
