Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Welp...herpes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
