My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
