I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
