Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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