ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
