We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We left the knife in your bed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
God I need to hump something, right now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
