Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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