you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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