I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
