no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
