Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
