I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
