wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
