Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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