Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
