You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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