I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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