I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would fuck him just for his dog
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
