There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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