Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
