xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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