My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What drink are we having for lunch?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
