I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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