how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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