She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think a kid would responsible me up
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
