I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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