My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize