I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
