Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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