am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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