mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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