am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
