How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
